I love you forever
I like you for always
As long as I am living
My baby you will be...
I feel like crying every time I see this book and I remember that part of the book above.
I used to read this book to my niece when she was a toddler. She is 6 now. Now that I remember because we have been talking in class about Ageism, my niece would always ask WHY; why did she have to go to sleep at a certain time, why did she have to eat her veggies, or watch a certain TV show that my sister and I wanted her to watch. I used to live with my sister when my niece was growing up and I feel like her parent almost. I remember thinking she was a rebel but she was just confused why she had to follow certain rules when we didn't even follow those rules sometimes. She was always sure to say "well you did that wrong too!"
I love that kid, I miss her.
I liked the readings this week that talked about how according to your age you are treated a certain way. I found it that I am not quite the adult that society sees me as because I still depend a lot on my parents but in class my group members saw it a totally different. They pointed out that because they were a certain age they were not able to get an internship or taken serious because they were classified as still too young. I can totally understand that side too.
I felt really bad about my actions with my niece when classmates pointed out about kids not having a voice. I remember that my niece had something important to say when we ate dinner and I would make her hush-up. I feel like we were really hard on her now that I look back. I can say that she is very well behaved but I just feel that maybe we were too strict with her. In addition, since we were so strict she would later take those strict habits and impose them on her younger sibling. When I first saw her scream at my little brother, who is a year younger than her, I felt like WOW, that is exactly how I speak to her or scream at her. I felt really bad. I just don't know, I guess I was frustrated, but I am not saying that I am not guilty.
I try to be very loving to my niece and support her in her reading and other great abilities because I know she is a special kid. I advice my sister to not make fun of my niece so much because my sister is pretty tough with her sometimes and my niece just wants to be understood and loved. Not having a father really hits her in the tummy sometimes because she sees other kids with two parents and often wonders "why can't I have that too?"
It's truly a dilemma but reading these articles really made me see that children are very important and need attention and understanding more than anything. I want to further my education working with kids with Communities in Schools because I want these kids to have a voice when they are often taped in their mouths to not speak. It's really inhumane what adults sometimes do to control their children. I understand it's for love parents think they are acting protective for but it can get out of control.
Veronica,
ReplyDeleteSometimes when we think we are disciplining and protecting our kids, we are actually the ones who are causing them the most harm. What I have learned over the years with my own children is that most times, I learn more from them than they learn from me. They have taught me patience, compassion, unconditional love, and respect. Be kind to your niece and don't beat yourself up for sometimes being too hard on her. If you open yourself up, you will find that she, too, has a lot to teach you. See you soon.
Thanks for the inspiration and piece of mind. I'm doing my best to let my niece have a voice and personality and of course be a teacher to me and the rest of the family. I truly think kids are great =]
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment too!
I know how you feel, I used to watch a family friend (Emma)all the time back home, now she's 5 and I can't believe what a grown up she is! Last semester in my sociology class we read a chapter called, "Act your age" and what it means when you tell this to younger children. It really does make me wonder what we are implying when we say this. They're young kids, they are supposed to be running around like crazy and making lots of noise. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteI remember my mom getting this book at my brother's baby shower. the moms passed it around and each one of them cried. I remember reading it at different points of my life trying to understand why they cried and why the book didn't make me cry.
ReplyDeleteanyways, memory time over.
I think the discussion in class did lead me to question how I treat the kids I coach. My director told me that it's interesting to watch me coach because I typically treat the kids like they are much older than they really are, and they tend to act older in response to me. But recently, I noticed that I have started talking "down" to them like the other coaches. I am not sure why, but it is hard not to now. I haven't really noticed any difference in their behavior, though.
i don't know, this just kind of brought those two thoughts to my mind.
Veronica,
ReplyDeleteThat book makes me cry for sure, because my Mom used to always read it to us as children. She would cry while she read it sometimes, and then once she had my granny read it to us while we were going to take a nap and they both cried hysterically. It's remembering their emotion that gets me every time. Plus my Mom made up a little tune for that song and would sing it to us sometimes when we went to bed. I love your reflection on your interactions with your niece, and I have to say I definitely had the same reaction to this week's reading and discussion time. It is really important to treat kids the same way we want and expect to be treated. I'm also thinking of the age that I am now as a position of privilege, and that it's important to recognize that privilege and use it for good! Great post!